Don’t look for love…

At the start of this semester, one peculiar thing has bothered me a lot all throughout the days… It’s hard to explain but I think something in my feelings has changed. A change that I should never felt because it might hurt me in the end… What is it?
Many people would say that the more you deny that you have no feelings for someone, the more that your feelings will grow… For me, I always advice my friends about that thing but it never happened to me not until now. Maybe it’s strange but I think or I should better say, I was slowly falling in love for someone whom I think is very impossible to love me back. I was not hoping because I don’t want to get hurt. I often say to others that they should not assume that the one they like or love will have the same feelings with them because of course, we don’t own or hold their hearts to love us too… But I guess, I should better advice myself about that thing.


I never think that love would come again to me… For more or less two years in my life after my last relationship, I was contented being a single or I should better say that I tried to be contented with my status. I was happy but not so much. I was free but sometimes I wish someone would stop me from doing a thing. I don’t need to fix any problems but sometimes I wish I have. I was glad seeing sweet lovers but sometimes I get jealous too. Is it wrong to be single? No, of course. It’s just that, it’s not always right to be alone. Sometimes, we need companion, we need an inspiration, we need someone to rely on aside from our friends. Someone who could understand us and someone who will take care of us when we don’t have time for ourselves. Someone who would show his concern to us and someone who will share his love to us.
I’m not looking for love… I just badly need it (sometimes, I would think that way). Many times in my life, I always think that I was lack of love… Well, it’s not actually true because my family and friends do love me… I just think that way because I wish I could go into a relationship. Funny isn’t it? Well, as a matter of fact, the reason why I didn’t go into a relationship because I was looking for someone who would fit my standards but I guess I was wrong of thinking that way… meeting your standards will never satisfy you, actually. Well, I guess God do has a purpose on why He didn’t allow me to go into a relationship maybe because I have something else to do rather than this one. So, what’s the lesson? Don’t find love, let love find you. Just wait. It will come. Far better than what you’ve dreamt of.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008