Peculiar Kind of Feeling (Is it love or lust?)

How do we differentiate Love from Infatuation? Actually, at first, I was insisting that what I feel is love but I soon found out that it was rather an infatuation. In the article written by Miriam S. Tumangday in the book Health & Home, she had stated some differences between Love & Infatuation and I just took 7 from the 10 distinctions she had given it is because these 7 variations caught my attention.
1.) Love centers on one person only while infatuation tends to consider several persons at the same time. I can say that what I’ve felt right now is just an infatuation because I do like three guys at the same time. I can say that it is love, because just what I have experienced a year ago wherein I was just focused to one person only and I wasn’t attracted to anyone even if someone’s giving his attention to me. In this case, there is really a big difference between the two. It is how you have given your attention to that certain person. If your attention exceeds to another, it is not love, it is otherwise.


2.) Love develops slowly. They say that there is love at first sight but to me it’s not, it is still attraction which develops to infatuation and then it develops to love. You cannot tell that you love a person just the moment that you met him/her. Love develops slowly and not in just a blink of an eye. Because if it is, it’s really an infatuation or rather an attraction.
3.) Love motivates behavior, usually toward positive. Infatuation does the opposite. They say that when you’re in-love with this person, you tend to accept all his flaws and ended up advising him to change his attitudes if it is bad. On the other hand, if you feel is just an infatuation, you tend to insist that what he’s acting is not good and you keep on telling him that you need to change his character immediately or else you will leave him. In this manner, when you feel is just an infatuation, you keep on asserting that you are right and your requests should be granted by your lover. It is really the opposite if you feel is love.
4.) Love is selfless while infatuation is selfish. It is very simple to explain. If it’s infatuation, you’re just thinking of yourself and if it’s love, you don’t actually think about yourself and instead, you’re focusing on your partner.
5.) Love produces security, infatuation insecurity. In infatuation, insecurities really develop which made the relationship full of arguments and conflicts. In contrast, when you’re in-love, you will feel the security from your lover and you will feel that no one can touch nor hurt you.
6.) Love survives separation. Infatuation easily dies when put into distance. It is when you put two lovers into distance, will make you distinguished if they feel is love or just an infatuation. In infatuation, the feeling will easily die because you’re used to see him every now and then whereas if it is love, no matter how far you are with your lover, you can survive it because you trust him and because of this trust, you can really tell that you really love him that much.
7.) If it has to end, love does it slowly. If you’re in-love and it finally reaches to its end, you will really have a hard time upon recovering from the pain because you still cannot accept the fact that he/she has decided to end up your relationship. The love that you feel will fade very slowly because you had to accept and forget what had happened which really take a long time before you finally feel that you already moved on or the feeling has totally gone. If it is just an infatuation, it is totally the opposite because you will be hurt by this person you have liked but just for a few minutes, after that, you will be happy again and you finally forget what had happened to you and to your crush.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008