Ang Lihim sa Likod ng Salamin

“Mararamdaman mo ang sakit kapag ika’y nag-iisa na.“ amin ng dalagitang nakatulala habang nakatingin sa labas ng bintana.
Sa isang kuwarto, sa isang sulok, naroon ang isang dalagang humahagulhol. Nagmumukha na siyang asong ulol. Pilit na pinipigilan ang sarili na mapaiyak pero sadyang patuloy na pumapatak ang mga luhang dulot ng mapait na pag-ibig na nararanasan. Paano maiiwasan ? Paano makakalimutan ? kung saang sulok siya mapatingin ay naroroon ang guni-guni ng kahapon. Siya ay napalunok. Narinig na may kumakatok. Natahimik. Hindi umiimik. Mayamaya’y bumukas. Napapikit dahil sa ilaw na nakabukas. Sinigawan. Binulyawan. Napatalikod. Pilit iniignora ang tensyon sa pagitan ng dalawa. Siya tuloy ay nagmumukhang kawawa. Aakmang aalis. Pero siya’y nagtatagis. Napaupo. Nanlulumo. Nagmamakaawa. Kaawa-awa. Tumayo. Nagpaalam na lalayo. Pinigilan. Walang alinlangan. Itinulak. Lango na sa alak. Iniwan. Nagmumukhang basahan.


Bakit nga ba ka’y pait ng pag-ibig? Puwede bang huwag na itong lumapit ? kung pag-ibig ay sadyang masakit, bakit kailangan pang maramdaman ang hapdi at ang bunga nitong napakalupit?
Napatingin siya sa kawalan ? Pilit inaalala ang mga nagawang kasalanan. Napaiyak. Puso ay mabibiyak. Saka pa naalala ang mga nagawa. Isang araw. Binisita. Sinita. Nagmamakaawa. Mahalin at ito’y maawa. Siya ay buntis. Nasasaktan na ng labis. Siya ay desperada. Lahat ng magagawa ay ipinarada. Humihiling. Siya ay napailing. May iba ng mahal. Siya ay banal. Nagalit at nasuklam. Nagmumukhang mangkukulam. Maghihigante. Kinuha ang kutsilyo sa pahinante. Sumugod. Pinigilan. Hinarangan. Ikaw ay natuwa. Siya’y nasaksak. Ang mahal mo’y bumagsak. Napaiyak. Babae ay iyong binugbog. Dahil siya ang bagong mahal ng iyong iniirog. Ikaw ay tumawa. Ngunit ikaw ngayon ay masama.
Ngunit siya ay nabuhay. Buhay mo ay nawalan na ng kulay. Siya ay lumapit. Ikaw ay napakapit. Niyakap. Ikaw ay nasa alapaap. Patawarin. Napailing dahil ikaw ay salarin. Nagpaliwanag. Ikaw ay nabigyan ng liwanag. Nagising. Naliliyo pa rin dahil sa pagkalasing. Natahimik at napatigil. Dapat sana ay kanyang pinigilan. Hindi tuloy siya ngayon ay nasa kulungan. Tumayo. Humayo. Lumapit. Napapikit. Napatingin sa repleksyon. Binuksan ang salamin. Napangiti. Parang kinikiliti. Tumayo. Umakyat sa bangko. Itinulak. May binabalak. Nasasakal. Mukha ay parang puting asukal. Napaluha. Narinig ang pag-uha. Dahan-dahang napapikit. Hapdi ay nakaukit. Babaeng nakabitin. Saksi ang salamin. Pusong iniwan. Pusong kinalimutan. Pusong tinalikuran. Tanging ang salamin lang ang may alam ng katotohanan.

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Thursday, September 25, 2008

The Truth Hurts

As defined in the dictionary, truth means a fact that has been verified and hurt means the source of pain. For you, how would you define truth and hurt? For me, when these two words are combined, I would define it as Sadness, Distress, Grief, Forfeit, Self-pity, Loneliness and Heartrending.

There are some instances that we are trying to smile and pretend that we are not affected or we are not hurt to discern that the truth is really a painful one. Here are some situations that most of us had undergone:

* Why is it so hard to forget someone who in the first place was never been yours?

* The hardest part of walking away from you is to know that you won’t run after me


* How does it feel to be unnoticed by the person you notice most? It’s like offering your most beautiful portrait to a blind person.

* Sometimes, you have to try not to care no matter how much you do because sometimes, you can mean nothing to someone who means everything to you.

* I asked him, do you love me? He said: let’s just be friends. I asked again, he told me the same answer. Then one day, he said: I love you and I answered: I know because we’re friends right?

* One day, he’ll care for me like I cared for him, one day he’ll miss me like I missed him, one day he’ll love me and I may not feel the same way anymore.

* Because of you, I find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me

* Sometimes, we tend to ignore the truth, the pain, and even the consequences without realizing that we are doing it for someone who will ignore us after all.

But despite of this dilemma in our lives, we find it as a lesson for us and to see the brighter side of it and that is: we became much stronger after each distressing days in our lives.

Right now, how do I see love? How do I see this person whose glance was never mine? How can I elude his smile that wasn’t meant for me? How can I forget him who in the first place, never knew me? Even if my heart wants to lead me in love’s journey, I can no longer follow. The wounds have injured me too much that all I am able to do now is just sit and dream. Hope has already left my heart but the nice part is that my strong faith remains. I consider love’s journey a battle where my heart is a soldier who fights for the love I truly believe in.
I have failed many times, but I have a very strong vision of love and
THAT KEEPS ME ALIVE all these years…

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Stop… Look… & … Listen

Stop!... According to the study made by the US researchers, Suicide is the third leading cause of death for adolescents and young adults with age between 15-24 years old (http://www.mentalhelp.net/. It has been found out also that the percentage of those people who committed suicide is rising every year. Why? What’s the reason behind? How can we stop this predicament? First, let’s tackle the persons who are involved in this case. These persons may possibly be your friend, your neighbor, your lover or even the members of your family. Second, some of these people tend to misinterpret the things that are happening around them that’s why they feel like they are alone when the people they’ve been expecting to talk to them or care for them doesn’t even show their concern. Some behaviors which started this kind of feeling are the following: Frustration, Conflict & Adjustment.

Look… around you… Haven’t you observed that a number of people are getting emotional? Why is this so? Some says that it starts with just a simple problem in the house. It may be physical, emotional, mental or financial problem and is later influenced by the environment outside the house. The reason behind these suicidal attempts is just because of “lack of love”. They are longing for this love which they haven’t found from their family, friends or even the one they’ve loved. It is said that when they get to be frustrated or experience some conflicts and adjustments, they became depressed. Depression as explained in Psychology is always accompanied by remorse, feelings of inferiority and apprehension (Beltran, 1996). These people when they regret the things that they have done will make them feel that they are so imperfect and nobody will love them the way they wanted to be loved. Sometimes, when these people felt inferiority, they tend to compare themselves to those persons who are much gifted, more attractive and smarter than them and because of this, they are looking for an outlet to express their feelings through wearing black t-shirts or black eyeliner, listening to emotional songs such as love songs and is isolated in their respective rooms and if they cant bear the feeling anymore, that’s the time when they have decided to put an end to their lives.

Listen… to them… they need you physically, mentally & emotionally or even financially… Don’t dump them… Don’t ever avoid them… Support them… Love them and don’t ever dare not to care for them…

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Sunday, September 14, 2008

How will Team Philippines make it out on the Olympics 2008?

Literally speaking, we all know that it is impossible for our country to reap a medal in this venerable event because we are all aware that various athletes from different countries are also competing for the same pride and honor.

Ever since in the history, Philippines was not able to obtain any medal since the Olympics had started. Why? What’s the reason behind? Are our athletes not capable enough to compete with them? Or should we blame the government because they were not able to support the needs of our competitors?


Pride or what you called Self-esteem is the number one reason why the participants of this sports event strive hard not only for themselves but also for the honor of the country which they belong. This feeling motivates them to reach their goals and that is to bring home the gold medal.

In relation to that, what makes other countries earn these medals is all because of the support that they have which motivates them to do their best. We should not wonder why countries like China & USA always win in the Olympics. First and foremost, their government was supportive to them. They do have funds which are intended only for the players for their daily practice on their respective events and they are given so much time for their trainings.
What about us? Our government wasn’t thinking to allocate some budget that is intended for our players only because if they did, many of our citizens will be getting poorer.

The recent Olympics, again, our country wasn’t able to gain even one bronze but despite of this, we’re still proud of them for their efforts, their hardships and sacrifices and for us, they are still winners and heroes of our country.
By the next Olympics, we should not lose hope to try our best because the only thing that we have that others don’t have is our faith in God.

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What is a Dream?

In our Psychology subject, I’ve ascertained that Dreams are those hidden conflicts, desires and wishes in our lives that don’t occur in real life.
But don’t you know that each of our dreams has its own implication and interpretations? At first, I was thinking about this question and I ask myself: Did I ever think that my dream has a meaning? Like when my crush is courting me in my dream, does it mean that in actual, it might happen too? The answer to that is no because ever since, I thought that my dream was just a product of what I’ve thought during the day before I’ve slept at night but I was wrong.

In our class in Humanities I, the first assignment that we had was all about King Nebuchadnezzar’s dream. He also asked us what the dream is all about, the interpretation and its relevance to the past, present and future of humanities, and etc. After which, I have discovered the answer to my question. It was written in the Bible, the Old Testament, Daniel Chapter 2.
One day, King Nebuchadnezzar had dreams and he was very bothered that he summoned all the magicians, sorcerers, enchanters and the astrologers to interpret the dream for him. The question is: did it happen that a man can interpret the dream of others which they can’t remember? The King was furious when his people told him that they cannot interpret his dream that’s why he ordered the persecution of all the wise men in Babylon.
Daniel was one of those wise men who will be persecuted that’s why he told Arioch, the King’s captain guard to give him time to interpret the dream of the king.
Given this problem, Daniel prayed to God that He may reveal this secret to him. One night, Daniel was shown the king’s dream and its interpretation and he hurriedly go to the king and unveil his dream.
It was a statue with different minerals on it and represents various kingdoms that will rule. These sovereignties are strong during their time of ruling their respective empires but as time goes by, these realms later deteriorate. The statue has its interpretation of the kingdoms: The head of gold signifies Babylon, the Breast and Arms of Silver signifies Medo-Persia, Belly and thighs of Brass signifies Greece, Legs of Iron signifies Rome, Feet & Toes of partly iron, partly clay signifies Europe. But another kingdom will emerge and that is the Kingdom of God that signifies the stone which will be thrown to the statue and it will turn into pieces.
The implication of this dream in the past, present and the future of humanities is that: whenever we had problems, we should not forget to pray to God because it is the only way for us to unravel our problems.
That is the whole story of Nebuchadnezzar’s dream and I’ve realize that in real life, really, our dreams have explanations but we just don’t mind about it.

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Wednesday, September 3, 2008