“If we cannot implement our new year’s resolutions, it’s still not a bad idea to make some.” People tend to make a new year’s resolution every year but while they are saying those promises and changes, they end up lying to themselves because throughout the year, nothing change, it’s still the same routine, same attitude and same insights… well, it’s not impossible that we can actually make our resolutions for this year to come true… we just have to be true to ourselves and we should commit to ourselves that we are going to change the things that we are wishing and what we are dreaming to happen… it’s not impossible… I tell you…
Again and Again
Christmas is fast approaching...
Indeed, Christmas is fast approaching… How would I describe this year’s Christmas… As the month of December came, I already felt the chilly breeze of the wind and it makes me excited to the fact that I’m already thinking of what I will be going to give to my loved ones. I really can’t explain the feeling… a little bit nervous but excited… happy but sad… sounds weird but that’s how I feel at this moment and to explain it is too hard for me… well, the truth is… I’m just happy because it was Jesus’ birthday… that’s the best explanation I could give…
Nightfall’s Confessions
Way back then, to tell you the truth, I never adore mythical works because I find it very boring. I don’t even try to watch movies and read books that are fictional except for those fantasy ones. Legends and myths were not renowned to me even if I do remember that we have tackled it when we were in elementary and high school. Another reason is that, I felt sleepy and I felt like it’s just a waste of time so I didn’t have the time to realize how wonderful literature is.
When I enter college and took up the course, AB in English, it is where I truly appreciate literature and then I realize, it wasn’t that boring after all. It was fascinating, captivating, and undeniably breathtaking. What more can I ask for? I begin to dream, to fascinate and to be charmed with the tricks, spells, crafts and many more.
One of the best movies I’ve ever watched so far is the TWILIGHT written by Stephanie Mayer. How would I describe the movie? Splendid? Riveting? I was not just enthralled with EDWARD Cullens, I was not disturbed and I am not just dreaming… it’s true… I was extremely awestruck with him and I never wished it before… I wish he would be the right person for me… someone who’s the same with him… no matter what happens… no matter what’s his flaws and faults, I will never neglect nor betrayed him… I will accept him for who he was… I’m not desperate, I’m just fascinated… and how I wish I was his BELLA… wherein he will fall in love and he will never fall out of love with me… forever will start to happen and it will never end… I wish nothing else… just to be with him …
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Don’t look for love…
At the start of this semester, one peculiar thing has bothered me a lot all throughout the days… It’s hard to explain but I think something in my feelings has changed. A change that I should never felt because it might hurt me in the end… What is it?
Many people would say that the more you deny that you have no feelings for someone, the more that your feelings will grow… For me, I always advice my friends about that thing but it never happened to me not until now. Maybe it’s strange but I think or I should better say, I was slowly falling in love for someone whom I think is very impossible to love me back. I was not hoping because I don’t want to get hurt. I often say to others that they should not assume that the one they like or love will have the same feelings with them because of course, we don’t own or hold their hearts to love us too… But I guess, I should better advice myself about that thing.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
It’s part of growing up!
This expression has been my favorite punch line to other people especially if they commit a mistake without thinking that it would happen to me too. No one is perfect in this world and so am I. Every individual is facing different obstacles on the way, whether it is good or bad. These things came into our lives because it has a purpose whether to make us strong if it is a failure or to make us gain our confidence if it is an accomplishment.
Just after the semestral break in our school, I already encounter one of the most excruciating problems in my entire life and that is when I fail my subject in Statistics I. I don’t know how would I explain the feeling but let me narrate to you what had happened during that day. The date was October 21, 2008 between 10:00 and 11:00 in the morning when a friend of mine had texted me and her message goes this way: “Maam Terror had already released the grades and I’m sorry to tell you Yan, you didn’t make it.” At first, I close my eyes and I glance again into my cell phone making sure that I was wrong but I’m not. I’m waiting for her text again if she will going to tell me that those things that she have said earlier was only a joke but I was frustrated because my cell phone didn’t rang once again.
I then feel the pain deep within my heart. It’s like there is a small pin that hits my heart which became big and big and it really hurts a lot. My tears fell and I wish I could stop it from falling but I can’t, it just drop continuously. I’m not just upset, I was blaming myself and ask God: Why is this happening to me? Why me? Have I been not a hardworking student? Disobedient daughter? Unpleasant sister? Violator in this society? Am I not worthy to pass the subject even if I give my best just to be part of the passing grade that she had given?
Those questions make me feel at worst. I felt like I’m not a good follower of God and these things happened to me because I don’t have faith on Him. The pain had reached at its peak after I was able to open up with this problem with my parents and my sister. I felt guilty because I was not able to pass it. I’m thinking of their hardships in their work like facing hardheaded people and advising them to follow the rules and regulations and another one is that, my sister is so intelligent while me? I even fail my subject, how could I praise myself?
The whole day I was crying but then I was relieved because of the advices that my parents, my sister and my friends have given me in order for me to be reassured and then I realized so many things and I was able to promise to myself that I would not cry anymore with regards to this problem. What are those things? This is just an obstacle in my life and there’s a lot more and instead of thinking negative about it, I should be thinking in the positive way like God has a purpose why I have failed on this and this failure will make me a more determined person to strive hard with my studies, putting all my trust on Him and believed in my capability that I can overcome all the difficulties that I will be going to encounter while I am taking my path to success.
In Psalm 34:17, it says that “The righteous cry out and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles”. This only means that God will never leave us alone. He will always be there to guide, protect and deliver us out of all the troubles that we are experiencing. And there is one more thing that makes me alive and happy today. What is it? It is when I finally accept it. The only thing that could heal all the wounds is acceptance and I did it! And I can now praise myself!
This failure is just part of my past and I realize that…… This is just part of growing up! Wonderful isn’t it?
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Depiction of Flowers
Once you will see a flower, your first description for it would be : Beautiful. But, did you know that a flower has a variety of meanings. Researchers or even experts disagree with what the people is thinking regarding flowers who do have meanings. But still, it’s not bad if we do believe on this. Here are some of the flowers/plants who is believed to have an implication (source from http://www.800florals.com/care/meaning.asp ) :
Acacia which means concealed love, beauty in retirement, or chaste love
Begonia which means beware
Cactus which means endurance
Camellia (pink) which means longing for you
Camellia (red) which means you’re a flame in my heart
Camellia (white) which means you’re adorable
Carnation (general) which means fascination or woman in love
Carnation (pink) which means I’ll never forget you
Carnation (red) which means my heart aches for you or admiration
Carnation (purple) which means capriciousness
Carnation (solid color) which means yes
Carnation (striped) which means refusal
Carnation (white) which means Sweet and Lovely, Innocence, Pure Love, Woman's Good Luck Gift
Carnation (yellow) which means rejection
Chrysanthemum (general) which means cheerfulness and rest
Chrysanthemum (white) which means truth
Chrysanthemum (yellow) which means slighted love
Daffodil which means unrequited love
Daisy which means innocence, loyal love and purity; others define daisy as secret love like in the movie, Daisy (Korean movie)
Dandelion which means faithfulness and happiness
Fern which means magic and fascination
Monday, October 6, 2008
Ang Lihim sa Likod ng Salamin
“Mararamdaman mo ang sakit kapag ika’y nag-iisa na.“ amin ng dalagitang nakatulala habang nakatingin sa labas ng bintana.
Sa isang kuwarto, sa isang sulok, naroon ang isang dalagang humahagulhol. Nagmumukha na siyang asong ulol. Pilit na pinipigilan ang sarili na mapaiyak pero sadyang patuloy na pumapatak ang mga luhang dulot ng mapait na pag-ibig na nararanasan. Paano maiiwasan ? Paano makakalimutan ? kung saang sulok siya mapatingin ay naroroon ang guni-guni ng kahapon. Siya ay napalunok. Narinig na may kumakatok. Natahimik. Hindi umiimik. Mayamaya’y bumukas. Napapikit dahil sa ilaw na nakabukas. Sinigawan. Binulyawan. Napatalikod. Pilit iniignora ang tensyon sa pagitan ng dalawa. Siya tuloy ay nagmumukhang kawawa. Aakmang aalis. Pero siya’y nagtatagis. Napaupo. Nanlulumo. Nagmamakaawa. Kaawa-awa. Tumayo. Nagpaalam na lalayo. Pinigilan. Walang alinlangan. Itinulak. Lango na sa alak. Iniwan. Nagmumukhang basahan.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
The Truth Hurts
As defined in the dictionary, truth means a fact that has been verified and hurt means the source of pain. For you, how would you define truth and hurt? For me, when these two words are combined, I would define it as Sadness, Distress, Grief, Forfeit, Self-pity, Loneliness and Heartrending.
There are some instances that we are trying to smile and pretend that we are not affected or we are not hurt to discern that the truth is really a painful one. Here are some situations that most of us had undergone:
* Why is it so hard to forget someone who in the first place was never been yours?
* The hardest part of walking away from you is to know that you won’t run after me
Stop… Look… & … Listen
Stop!... According to the study made by the US researchers, Suicide is the third leading cause of death for adolescents and young adults with age between 15-24 years old (http://www.mentalhelp.net/. It has been found out also that the percentage of those people who committed suicide is rising every year. Why? What’s the reason behind? How can we stop this predicament? First, let’s tackle the persons who are involved in this case. These persons may possibly be your friend, your neighbor, your lover or even the members of your family. Second, some of these people tend to misinterpret the things that are happening around them that’s why they feel like they are alone when the people they’ve been expecting to talk to them or care for them doesn’t even show their concern. Some behaviors which started this kind of feeling are the following: Frustration, Conflict & Adjustment.
Look… around you… Haven’t you observed that a number of people are getting emotional? Why is this so? Some says that it starts with just a simple problem in the house. It may be physical, emotional, mental or financial problem and is later influenced by the environment outside the house. The reason behind these suicidal attempts is just because of “lack of love”. They are longing for this love which they haven’t found from their family, friends or even the one they’ve loved. It is said that when they get to be frustrated or experience some conflicts and adjustments, they became depressed. Depression as explained in Psychology is always accompanied by remorse, feelings of inferiority and apprehension (Beltran, 1996). These people when they regret the things that they have done will make them feel that they are so imperfect and nobody will love them the way they wanted to be loved. Sometimes, when these people felt inferiority, they tend to compare themselves to those persons who are much gifted, more attractive and smarter than them and because of this, they are looking for an outlet to express their feelings through wearing black t-shirts or black eyeliner, listening to emotional songs such as love songs and is isolated in their respective rooms and if they cant bear the feeling anymore, that’s the time when they have decided to put an end to their lives.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
How will Team Philippines make it out on the Olympics 2008?
Literally speaking, we all know that it is impossible for our country to reap a medal in this venerable event because we are all aware that various athletes from different countries are also competing for the same pride and honor.
Ever since in the history, Philippines was not able to obtain any medal since the Olympics had started. Why? What’s the reason behind? Are our athletes not capable enough to compete with them? Or should we blame the government because they were not able to support the needs of our competitors?
What is a Dream?
In our Psychology subject, I’ve ascertained that Dreams are those hidden conflicts, desires and wishes in our lives that don’t occur in real life.
But don’t you know that each of our dreams has its own implication and interpretations? At first, I was thinking about this question and I ask myself: Did I ever think that my dream has a meaning? Like when my crush is courting me in my dream, does it mean that in actual, it might happen too? The answer to that is no because ever since, I thought that my dream was just a product of what I’ve thought during the day before I’ve slept at night but I was wrong.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done?
Given this question, the very first thing you will do is to think it over before you will finally realize the answer to this question. But for me, I wasn’t able to visualize the hardest thing that I’ve ever done in my life because the fact that it was an impromptu speech given by our professor in Speech and Oral Communications.
Seconds passed by before I had my idea on this topic. And then I said: “What’s the hardest thing that I’ve ever done in my life? It was when I was pretending to be happy when deep within this heart of mine I felt the opposite. Why I was pretending to be happy? It is because of two reasons: (1) because I don’t want others to see me hurting and (2) I want to hide the pain that I’ve felt so others would not worry about me. I tell you, it is very hard for the reason that you keep on pretending in front of many people that you are fine when in truth, you’re not. But the lesson behind that is: not at all times, you need to hide what you feel, it is not wrong to show what you feel to others, instead, you became stronger because you were able to prove to others that you can actually release the untold feelings in your heart.” I was contented after I’ve done my speech because I was able to overcome this fear of having that impromptu speech. How about you? What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done in your life?
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Peculiar Kind of Feeling (Is it love or lust?)
How do we differentiate Love from Infatuation? Actually, at first, I was insisting that what I feel is love but I soon found out that it was rather an infatuation. In the article written by Miriam S. Tumangday in the book Health & Home, she had stated some differences between Love & Infatuation and I just took 7 from the 10 distinctions she had given it is because these 7 variations caught my attention.
1.) Love centers on one person only while infatuation tends to consider several persons at the same time. I can say that what I’ve felt right now is just an infatuation because I do like three guys at the same time. I can say that it is love, because just what I have experienced a year ago wherein I was just focused to one person only and I wasn’t attracted to anyone even if someone’s giving his attention to me. In this case, there is really a big difference between the two. It is how you have given your attention to that certain person. If your attention exceeds to another, it is not love, it is otherwise.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Some Models of Communication and its Differences
The Shannon-Weaver Mathematical Model explains that the Source encodes the message through the channel. But before it reaches the Receiver (Decoder), the message may be interrupted by what you called Noise which keeps the message from being understood by the Receiver. The main ingredient in this model is the Noise compared to other models wherein the noise was not emphasized.
Berlo’s Model of Communication is really a good example for us to understand how well communication works simply because he was able to emphasize the profiles or the purpose of each element. The source encodes the message depending on his communication skills, attitudes, and knowledge on certain things, his social system and his culture. The receiver decodes the message depending also on his communication skills, attitudes, and knowledge on certain things, his social system and his culture.
Building Memories
In addition, sometimes, we tend to take for granted those people who care for us, who loved us and never forget us. Let us talk about this movie entitled “50 First Dates” wherein the main character named Lucy who had a problem with her short-term memory and the stage of her memory cannot proceed to long-term memory. In her case, people around her, especially her father and her brother tried their very best just to meet the usual things that Lucy did before she’d undergone with the car accident. Adam Sandler who played the role as the lover of Lucy never stopped courting Lucy even if he’ll gonna do it everyday. It is because he really loved Lucy despite the fact that she cannot remember him after 24 hours.
With this movie, I was really touched because it is a rare one for a guy who will be patiently in-love with a woman who happened to lose her memory and can only remember you for 24 hours. I was crying because I knew that it is really hard in the part of the guy to court Lucy everyday.
This is why at present, I tend to treasure every person who came into my life because I don’t know if someday, these persons will just lost their memory and cannot remember me anymore.
As what the saying goes: “True happiness doesn’t depend on possession or position. It comes from the quality of relationships with the people we love and respect. And these creative meaningful relationships build lasting memories.” Sometimes, we tend to control other people but we should not insist that we owned them just because we do have a relationship. It is not the measure of true happiness but the good memories we have shared throughout the years…
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Unspoken Affection
What love is? I wonder how it began, where it came from and who the creator is. All I understand about “love” is that it is a powerful word that is said to the people who are very special in your heart. But how can this four letter word a mighty one? Is it when it is said by the people who are special to you and it really affects you and you feel so happy? Or when you’re heart is beating so fast that you can hardly breathe every time he’s with you or maybe you feel like you’re floating in the sky whenever he will ride with you in a car, give you flowers or chocolates or invite you for a date? Is that what love means to you?
Love for me, isn’t just a word that is used by the people in order to get who they like and who they want or it is a way to impress people that you had this capability to go in a relationship. Love is a strong and righteous word. It is a promise to the person that you’re going to treasure and cherish her/him and that promise should not be made if you mean to break it.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
The Real Thing About Me
As years goes by, I was able to purchase a notebook that is intended for my personal experiences, heartaches & happy moments and I called it "My Diary" but it was just for a while... I felt tired of writing the pain inside me especially because everybody seems to be interested to know what I wrote... whoah... I wish I could shout it out so loud that "Can't you understand that it is my personal stuff?" Well, sad to know, nobody didn't ever think about that!
Now, after so much time, I missed writing my point of views, that is why, I was eager to have a blog... Since it is my first time to have a post here, I hope that when someone's interested to see my post, he/she will never get tired of reading it again and again...
